Recently on the BBC iPlayer, I came across this TV programme doing a countdown of the most important things from the last decade. The show was called “The Noughties… Was that it?” I found some of the concept rather interesting and I thought this would make reasonable blog material and allow me to give my view on the last ten years. Note, I only said reasonable material. So this isn’t a blog so to speak, more like a list of opinions. The opinions of a blinkered idiot, but opinions nonetheless.
Well considering this is a top 50, there’s a logical place to start. Here’s 50 – 41.
50. Yoga. I’m unsure whether this is really a Noughties thing. Besides, I don’t trust people who do yoga. It’s a room filled with people doing something called a Downward Dog whilst prevalently emitting bottom burps, yet not one person laughs. You cannot trust these people. The plethora of “celeb” yoga DVDs plaguing out charts every Christmas definitely has popularised this weird cultish activity over the last few years, much to my dismay. There are even naked yoga classes. I shudder to even consider its existence.
49. Doctor Who. Having spent years in the darkness, Doctor Who returned to our screens in the form of the quirky Christopher Ecclestone. When Eckles decided to jack it in after just one series I figured the series could be on the way back out the door. But in stepped David Tennant. All hail this man! As the decade draws to a close, so does Tennant’s tenancy as the Doctor. Who would have thunk Doctor Who would have been such compulsive viewing? Not me, but happy to be proved wrong in this instance.
48. Celeb Rage. That’s right! What a decade we’ve had. It’s been so good that celebrities getting angry makes it onto our radar. Obviously the stand out moments were Elton Hercules John’s “vile pigs” outburst and Rusty Crowe clouting a hotel employee with a phone. Not to mention Christian Bale’s blue tirade against some poor guy on a film set for walking across his eye line. If you haven’t listened to it yet, it’s not for the easily offended, but still very impressive to hear how many expletives can be used in a matter of minutes.
47. Fad Diets. A craze that has taken the last few years by storm. I don’t do diets. I’m pretty sure it shows too, but I like eating food. Plus my diet’s so bland and selective if I had to cut out things because of a diet, I’d probably die of starvation. Plus I’m pretty sure some of these diets give you a mouth smelling like a dog’s arse. Not for me thanks. I’ll just eat a few more carrots and less chips.
46. Makeover Shows. As a typical guy, I give these shows a wide berth for the sake of my sanity. Why did the presenter of “How to look good naked” refuse the services of a personal trainer? ….. Because he’s already Gok Wan…. A bad joke’s all I have on this.
45. Girls Aloud. The Spice Girls of the Noughties, just a bit more successful, talented, sexier and richer. I’ve got to give them some credit; they do hold the record more the most consecutive top ten hits. Also the fact they are smoking hot doesn’t hurt. Even the ginger one.
44. George Bush. Possibly my favourite entry in the countdown. Possibly the dumbest ever politician in history, but definitely the funniest. The thing I love about this man, is when he messes up, he doesn’t admit his mistake. He just picks up that shovel and starts digging that hole too deep to ever escape. Probably the only politician to have a shoe thrown at him too!
“Fool me once, shame on….. shame on you. Fool me …. you can’t get Fooled again”
-Dubyah
I for one will miss these wise proverbs.
43. The Congestion Charge. As a non driver, I don’t have a fully valid viewpoint on this. But personally I think that big Ken’s legacy is a good one. He reduced traffic, thus limiting the damage we do as we ravage our planet, and in doing so, made himself public enemy number one. He’s like Batman at the end of the Dark Knight, he did what needed to be done and the people wanted to hunt him down for it.
42. Mobile Ringtones. That freaking Crazy Frog with his dangly bits made some Swedish git millions, while at the same time driving millions of us insane. This is definitely an argument against the existence of karma. The little bleeder even beat Coldplay to the top of the music charts. I despair for humanity sometimes. As for companies like Jamster suffocating us with crap audio bytes for out phones, thanks a lot for making public transport an even more insufferable experience. At least noise cancelling earphone sales have probably gone up.
41. Medical Marvels. This decade saw the first full face transplant. It would be wrong to make fun of this, because it was a rather incredible piece of surgery. But as a disclaimer, people expecting it to be like the movie Face Off, will be bitterly disappointed.
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